God didn't.
That's a big deal right now because I have been in a struggling place lately. Yesterday morning I sat outside my back door with tears streaming down my face feeling the deepest sense of hopelessness I've experienced in a long while. I sucked it up, put on my duty face and went to class. I don't know about you, but I hate being in public when I feel like a total basket case.
I walked into class an hour and a half late and did my best to put the tears on hold and focus on the task at hand. The day did get easier. My instructor is a kind, compassionate man. A couple of good friends piled onto the couch around me, let me cry, then showed me funny YouTube videos until I laughed. I felt more like myself in my second class. At 9PM I headed home to some hot tea and a movie snuggled on the couch with my hubby and daughter. My husband gently rubbed my back and prayed as I drifted to sleep.
This morning hubby took the morning routine reigns because I had an early doctor's appointment. One of the gals who works there is just learning to quilt. I excitedly gave her a list of blogs to check out online and the info for the annual quilt show in town. I left feeling good about connecting with her.
And... that's when it hit.
Twenty-four hours ago I was on my lawn chair feeling hopeless.
I lead a weekly bible study, and this week's focus is asking God for more of His presence. The challenge is to get Him off the sidelines and welcome Him INto our daily lives, moment by moment, to take full advantage of what He's made available to us through Christ. His presence. His peace. His strength. I felt like a fraud because I'm a wee bit not-happy at Him right now and still working through it.
But God knows that, and it hasn't stopped Him from being Himself. It reminds me of The God Hunt in reverse. Instead of hunting for God in every day I've been asking, "Where'd you go?"And instead of making me hunt for Him, He's showing me, "Here I am."
This honest moment brought to you by Tuesday's Unwrapped, an encouraging way to unwrap the magic that is life.
2 comments:
It's an interesting message.
We know that the 'steadfast love of the lord never ceases and they are new every morning'.
As you go through your daily activities;is my hope that you think about this message as it will motivate you and rekindle the fire in you.
I've derived alot from your message. Thank you
Thank you for sharing, Daniel! The Lord held me up during that time of questioning. He is not afraid of my questions - He's a "big boy" and knows where I am. I believe the struggles make the surrender more genuine. He meets us where we are gently with love, compassion and the POWER to lift us up. His mercies are most certainly new every morning!
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