But it didn't have to last that long.
I was a wimp. Every time it hurt I'd stop. So it dragged on until I finally had no choice but to suck it up and get it over with. Then I wondered what my problem had been. I had a C-section with my second son, but when my daughter came along I knew what to do. I knew it was gonna hurt like hell, but I was gonna push through it and get it over with.
She was born in 3 hours.
Last week I was working on some storyboards, which is no big deal... unless your hands have forgotten how to interpret what's in your head. And that's exactly what was happening to me. I couldn't draw a stick man.
The process of trying and failing and praying and begging and trying and failing was taking its toll. There were wads of paper all over the floor. I wasn't sure what I was battling, but I was losing. Miserably.
I called Eric for a pep talk and all he said was "I know you can do this, honey."
I cried harder.
It sounds ridiculous now that the storyboards are on their way to completion - I actually laughed about it - but I still wondered why it had to be so painful and tormenting?
Then someone wise reminded me that creating is a birthing process. Pulling something new out of ourselves hurts!!! But WOW the excitement when we look at what we've accomplished. The overwhelming awe and sense of pride... "I did that!"
And God stands there beaming, "I knew you could."
I'm glad He made me stubborn.
I love when I muscle my way through something that stretches every limit I thought I had, only to discover there is more to me than I knew.
Now, if I can just remember the next time this happens... and embrace the pains knowing the result will be worth it.
1 comment:
I've had my breakdowns (crying and worrying) during school...its not fun! But as you said in your post, it makes us realize how hard we worked - and how much God helped us. God doesn't put us through that for nuthin' :)
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